


John's letter [post Reichenbach]

by human_err0r



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: #cries, #death, #drunk, #johnlock - Freeform, #johnwatson, #letter, #loss, #pain, #postreichenbach, #sherlockholmes, #thefall, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:17:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/human_err0r/pseuds/human_err0r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dear Sherlock,</p>
<p>I had them again. Nightmares."</p>
<p>After Sherlock's death, John expresses his pain with a letter...</p>
            </blockquote>





	John's letter [post Reichenbach]

Dear Sherlock,

I had them again. Nightmares. Do you remember, at the beginning of our cohabitation, I had difficulties to have a good and long rest without having every minute an image of the war in my mind? Well, now, I'm there, in your own bed, and I can't sleep. I woke up more than twice. How many exactly? I don't know. I don't count anymore.   
  
 How long has it been now? Forty eight hours or something? And I'm getting mad, Sherlock. I'm seriously getting mad. You want to know what I did last few hours? I was sat on my armchair, eyes fixed on the door. And I waited. Waited for you to just open it and say : " Hey, John. This is unreal. I am not dead." But where are you now? Where the hell are you?

 People would tell I'm deeply lost into denial, but I know I'm not. I don't deny anything. I'm just sure that you acted and still acts like a dickhead and I'm sure you're somewhere in front of a good fire, laughing of the situation. You are not dead. You can't be. Just give me a sign. How do you think I am supposed to do when I have to stand into the rooms you were here in the flat, when I have to take cabs like we used to before, or even go to Scotland Yard, because I've never been there all alone? Since we met, you've always been with me. Always. So now, don't tell me it has to end. Please, don't.

 I hated you. Oh I hated you so much sometimes. With your changeable mood, and all your useless and hurtful reflections you could have. But even if you were horrible with me, I loved you. I loved you, I love you and I'll love you til the end. So do this for me, please, just come back. Or text me, send me, I don't, something to prove me you still alive. I need this. I need this or I'll lose my mind. I don't know if it's a good idea to stay here in fact, but here I'd stay.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's truly a waste of time, since you won't even read it.. I just...needed to get this out. I'm alone, Sherlock. I'm so alone... Why do you do this to me? Weren't you the one who were there to help me? 

 I think I am drunk. 

 

 I asked Harry if she was sure it was a good solution to forget. She told me yes. I am not sure she is right.

 

I forgive you, for everything. And I'm waiting for you. So now stop being a dick and come back to me. 

 

I need you.

 

John

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this short work!:)


End file.
